Key word being “good“.

8. To trust in the bigger picture. Many of us lose things that are/were important to us (Jobs, boyfriends, friends, family etc…) and ultimately we spend way too much time wishing things could have just turned out differently. I want to try to live more by faith in 2012 and trust that bad things only happen to make room for better things, or to make us stronger as individuals. You might not see the lesson now, but so many times later down the road we see why things happened the way they did. Faith. I want to try to never live in the past and accept that once the past is gone it’s gone, so many of us waste time fighting that reality. Acceptance and faith in 2012.

7. To take better care of my health. This means taking daily vitamins, making routine dentist/dr appointments, washing my hands more, just not neglecting the things that keep me healthy. The older we get the better we need to treat ourselves because if we don’t do certain things now, we will pay for them later. I don’t want weak bones or wrinkles when I am older so I better take action now. I already am really good about protecting my skin tho, so if you’re not, now is the time to start wearing a daily SPF and a wrinkle correcting night cream

6. Continue to keep psycho people away. This one I struggled with in 2011 because I always want to forgive those I care about even when they devastate me time and time again, but sometimes certain people simply don’t deserve to be let back into our lives… ever. I usually convince myself that forgiveness is healthier, but what is healthiest is learning how to forgive while leaving the bad people behind. If you know someone is bad for you just leave them in the past where they belong. They say if someone mistreats you and then asks to at least be friends? Hell no we can’t be friends, friends don’t miss treat one another. People can only hurt you if you let them.

5. To continue to better myself. I had a pretty productive 2011, landing a new job in an industry I love, but I want/need continuous growth to feel successful, so I need to set larger goals. I am clearly not having a baby or settling down any time soon, so I want to take advantage of this time. I feel lucky to still have no commitments to anyone other than myself, and while most people are focusing on finding a boyfriend/husband/baby, I’m going to focus on being the best I can be, now is the time to make my dreams a reality.

4. To smile more. Now don’t go emailing me saying “I toldddddd you so” or “It’s about timeeee” I’ll smile when I’m ready, but it is something I could improve on. Just so everyone knows, I don’t purposely not smile, I just have a fat face and sometimes smiling hurts, it feels like my whole face is scrunching up and I don’t like it. Seriously tho, I’ve just never been a super smiley, perky person, but I am genuinely fine and happy when people accuse me of being upset! (Ok, ok, sometimes I might be a bit grumpy but 84% of the time I am happy )

It seems to be a problem for everyone else other than me. I am not working on this for anyone other than myself, because smiling should be my choice, however life is too short not to be positive and happy so we will give it a whirl, no promises, just a whirl.

4. To use my gadgets less. I really am addicted to gadgets but it’s not my fault! My parents had me on the computer honestly since I can remember, age 5?  I am going try to start leaving them behind more, I need to break this separation anxiety I have formed with them, but idk, it might be too late?

2. To only make time for those who make time for me. This goes for friends as well as the fellas. If someone wants to be in your life they will find a way to be in it, no forcing. This was also a goal of mine last year and I think I stuck to it fairly well. Excuses are sooo 2011, enjoy those that make an effort to enjoy you… never chase like Big Pun says, only replace.

1. To use items I already own. This will be my biggest challenge. I’m not sure I can commit to this when it comes to clothing BUT… when it comes to jewelry, nail polishes, lip glosses, shoes, and other gadgets, I need to use the things I own instead of buying new ones. I have sooo many nail polishes and accessories, but I always seem to want new ones? I paint my nails once and then toss it into my pink polka dot nail polish case and never use it again. After about a year or two of hoarding it, I then end up giving all away to the Salvation Army anyway. All these little things end up going completely to waste, so, with that being said, I really am going to try harder to use items I have and to stop re buying things I already own. I suppose that is called being more resourceful

Overall I have no HUGE resolutions, just minor improvements that hopefully allow me to continuously grow into the best version of me I can be. They actually will all be a challenge for me, so I am going to figure out a way to remind myself of these goals often, maybe I will make little post it note reminders for my desk at work? Sounds like a plan!

What are some of your 2012 NYE Resolutions?

My friend sent me this video last night, but he told me not to watch it before bed because I wouldn’t be able to sleep… good call, because it made me want to run 88 miles and work for 224 days straight. A great video to remind me of one of my favorite lessons in life:

You only want something as bad as you’re willing to work for it. 

Some of my favorite quotes from this clip:

“I thought you said you wanna be successful? And then the guru held his head under water, he had him held down under water until he was about to pass out and then lifted him up. The guru told the guy when you want to succeed as bad as you want to breath, then you’ll be successful. ”

“Most of you say you wanna be successful but you don’t want it bad, you just kinda want it. You dont want it as bad as you wanna party, as bad as you wanna be cool, and most of you don’t want success as much as you want to sleep! Some of you love sleep more than you love success. If you wanna be successful youre gonna have to be willing to give up sleep.” (But I love sleep )

“If you go to sleep, you might miss the opportunity to be successful.”

“Don’t quit. You’re already in pain, you already hurt, get a reward from it, don’t go to sleep until you succeed.”

Crazy video for sure, gggreat reminders, hope you liked it as much as me!

For those of you wondering what the rules are, the girls pretty much get paid to be Hef’s kept women. They get a small amount of spending money each week, and basically sacrifice all their independence. They have to be home in the mansion by I think, 9pm, every night and they are not allowed to leave town unless Hef says so. They are not allowed to date other men, although Hef is allowed to sleep with whomever he pleases. I mean what did she honestly expect? Oh that’s right… she expected a man to change everything he is, everything he’s ever been, all for love.

And that’s when my view of her changed.

Forget the fact that she’s dating a man 60 years older than her, we already know that’s gross, but she really didn’t do anything I’m not guilty of myself. She was trying to love a man no woman could ever fully, truly, be happy loving. She stuck around for too long, like most girls do, hoping one day love would change something, anything.

We’re all guilty of it, waiting around too damn long hoping these guys will see the light and change, but that change rarely happens, and it definitely doesn’t happen while you’re standing there patiently waiting.

Everything Crystal dreamt up in her pretty little head was slowly fading each day that nothing changed. There was no end to the cheating, the parties, the easy women… I mean Hef was sleeping with her best friend Anna! Ew! But, that is everything Hef stands for, that is who he is and Crystal knew that.

It’s like that part in the Break Up movie, where Vince Vaughn’s friend is schooling him on his break up with Jennifer Anniston. He says something to Vince like… ”We always do what you want to do and she always did what you want to do. It’s who you are. That poor girl never stood a chance.”

And so many of us don’t. So many girls try dating guys they have no chance with emotionally, and they keep getting hurt over and over and over. They change their entire lives to try and be what they think these men need, all in hopes of some fairytale life, and you know what… it’s our fault for doing it.

We expect things from people who are simply not capable of giving them, and then when they let us down we’re mad at them. Be mad at yourself for expecting something so silly like Hugh Hefner loving only you forever.

So now I get why Crystal left. She hoped for change for sooooooo long and just couldn’t fake it a second longer. I think that’s one thing some people have trouble doing tho. Realizing when life is sending you the sameee lesson over and over and over, just waiting for you to learn it and let it go. So that is the point of this post, to remind you to pay attention to your lessons, if you’re reliving the same nightmare every single day, maybe it’s time to pull a Crystal and runaway.

Life really will send you the same lesson over and over and overrrrrrr again, with worse consequences every single time, until you finallllllllly learn the lesson. I think the hardest part about this entire, gruelingggggggg, emotional roller-coaster process, is accepting it for what it is. Who wants to kiss their fairytale goodbye and be someone else’s lesson? It’s sad to think everything two people worked for, at whatever it may be, a friendship, a relationship, etc… all has to end simply so we can learn something. That super sucks, but I am 100% convinced it leads to something better. I know there are people out there who welcome and want commitments and expectations. The trick is distinguishing between the two types of people and accepting each accordingly.

So this reminder is to accept that some people were brought into our lives to teach us something, whatever it may be, the lesson is there, and the sooner we learn to leave the storm alone, the quicker we can find someone who wants to play in the sun with us. You think you’re sad now, but one day you will look back at this and smile because it brought you to a much better place. So instead of forcing things that just aren’t possible, take your lesson and go.

People treat one another so disposable now a days, it’s pretty sad if you think about it. I try my best to apologize when I’m wrong, or hurt someone’s feelings, and know I would never let a friendship end because of something hurtful I initiated, so if my friends can’t do the same? I’m not going to beg them to be a friend. If you have to ask someone to care or act like a friend, chances are they don’t and aren’t.

Not sure who should reach out and apologize first? Well, it takes two to fight and two to repair the problem, but there usually is an origin to the fight. If you caused the problem or initiated the disagreement, most would agree it is on you to step up and initiate communication. So they reacted poorly, or in a way that pissed you off in return? Well, try to look past that and remember you, intentionally or unintentionally, caused the initial pain, so try to put your ego aside and take responsibility for where you’re at. Chances are they will apologize as well and you both will feel much, much better after a good talk!

The lesson here is to get over your ego and if you’ve hurt someone you love’s feelings, reach out and do what’s right and apologize. The friendship doesn’t even need to necessarily continue in all cases, sometimes it’s nice just to clear the air, agree to disagree, and both move on with closure and a clean conscious.

“Apologies have more power than most of us realize to restore strained relationships, free us from vengeful impulses, and create possibilities for growth.”

“Apology is the practice of extending ourselves because we value the relationship more than we value the need to be right.”

“We value apology in the abstract, but turn our backs on it in practice.”

“An apology is the superglue of life.  It can repair just about anything.”

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

“Accepting the apology signals the acknowledgment of a need to move forward, but not necessarily together.”

1. BASIC Urban Kitchen Hosts Thanksgiving lunch for San Diego’s Homeless

When: Thursday November 25th 11am & 1pm

How: Show up to BASIC at 8:30am to set up

First server shift is at 10:30am, serving starts at 11am

Second server shift is 12:30pm, serving starts at 1pm

This Thanksgiving BASIC is shutting its doors to the public & inviting SD’s most deserving homeless to come by & celebrate the holidays with a traditional home-cooked Thanksgiving meal with all the trimmings. Meal seatings are at 11AM and 1PM and can hold approximately 120 people per seating. Tickets will be passed out in advance through a variety of goodwill organizations and churches. For more information on ways to donate or volunteer, please contact DrMatt@HealthyImpressions.com or call 510.303.0559.

2. Father Joe’s Villages Thanksgiving Day 5K

When: November 25, 2010

Join Father Joe’s Villages in helping serve over 1.7 million meals annually to our neighbors in need. On November 25, 2010 at 8 am in Balboa Park Father Joe’s Villages will be holding its 9th Annual Thanksgiving Day 5K Run/Walk. Participate in a fast and fun 5K course throughout Balboa Park followed by a beer garden and live music by the Bill Magee Blues Band. For more information click here.

Anyway, it made me think that all you boyfriends need to step your game up and spoil your deserving woman a bit more. Girls loveeee jewelry, so why not surprise her with something nice today, just because. I was browsing online for nice silver or gold jewelry sites and found some pretty pieces on ShopNBC.com for awesome prices, so boys, bust out your credit cards and buy her something nice today. “You, you, you can thank me now”. Happy wife = happy life.

Also Christmas is coming up so that’s an option as well. Here are a few of my favorite pieces, but to explore all the other jewelry you can visit www.ShopNBC.com, I want it ALL!

Sterling Silver/Black Rhodium 8.25″ Bold Pave Black Sapphire Link Bracelet

Sterling Silver 7″ Twisted Bead End-Cap Electroform Bangle Bracelet

Loving this silver bracelet, it reminds me of Ashley’s cuteee David Yurman bracelet, but much more affordable!

Or perhaps some lovely diamonds. I’ve always wanted some real ones

14K White Gold 0.75ct Diamond Stud Earrings

]]> http://www.helloamanda.com/2010/11/national-aywd-appreciate-your-woman-day/feed/ 0 http://www.helloamanda.com/2010/10/they-shoot-single-people-dont-they/ http://www.helloamanda.com/2010/10/they-shoot-single-people-dont-they/#comments Thu, 21 Oct 2010 20:16:44 +0000 amandajo http://www.helloamanda.com/?p=6569 I was watching Sex & The City the other night before bed, what better way to get my blogging blood a-flowin than a good SATC episode. The episode on was titled “They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?” All the girls found themselves single at the same time and realized how much they hated it. One by one they began settling for random boyfriends they didn’t really even like. Charlotte began dating her handyman, Miranda a boring ex she was never really into, and Samantha some nasty Latin club owner guy who called them “we” which caused her to like him simply because he was ready to commit. They all decided they were happier with someone versus no one. Carrie couldn’t relate to this concept at all, which confirms I definitely am a “Carrie” when it comes to that show.

It made me think… there are sooo many people who haveeeeeee to be in a relationship to survive, why can’t people seem to exist alone? It seems that after every break up there is always one of the two, who is off and dating someone else in what seems to be over night. It’s so weird to me, not to mention disgusting… sharing your bed with someone else so quick? I understand if you want to date around, but after being in love with someone how can people move on so fast? I guess it goes back to that whole “disposable” concept. People now a days are so fearful of being alone that they treat each other as if they’re disposable. Like Jay Z says, on to tha next…

I suppose it’s just a way insecure, weak people cope with their loss, or maybe they never really cared about the relationship they were in to begin with? I know when I love someone, my heart needs time to slow down, catch it’s breath, and sew up any cracks before I am really ready to move on. I guess I am just loyal to love, even lost love. I’m also fine being alone, and realize you can’t fill one void with another void, eventually all the voids will catch up to you, just like a trash pile up. It’s not fun taking out the trash/being alone when you’re sad, but it’s one of those things that for me, isn’t optional.

It feels good knowing I’m strong enough to exist alone. I suppose dating someone new is a nice distraction after a break up, but it sure seems like a quick, temporary fix. As soon as things slow down and the distraction subsides, reality will be back tapping on your shoulder to remind you of the things you ran from. The only sure fire way through the storm is directly through it.

I had one boyfriend in college, and after we broke up he tried to date around and realized he wasn’t ready. He eventually got himself a girlfriend, the only problem was this girl had just gotten out of a serious relationship too. I swear in just one month this girl was telling him she loved him, was talking about marriage and found a reason to move into his house. Just forgot about the guy you wanted to marry a month ago already?

Him & I of course remained close friends so I explained to him that it wasn’t him she loved, she just loved the idea of love and his attention after her recent break up. She’d love any guy. He agreed. Funny thing is they’re still together, unhappily of course, and he still texts me asking me sappy questions about our past. I don’t get that either, why stay if your heart isn’t in it? He says he loves her, but it’s a very different kind of love we knew. You can’t lie to your heart no matter how hard you try.

I think life is better with company for sure, I just don’t agree with any company being better than no company. So, to all my independent people out there, who can exist alone when needed, more power to ya. And for all the people out there who need someone by your side to feel safe, just remember you can’t always rely on other people to fill the voids inside of you, at the end of the day all we have for sure is ourselves, it’s ok to be single and happy. If you find yourself trying to fill a void inside of you with someone else, maybe stop and think about what life really wants you to find? Maybe focus more on yourself, your health, your fitness, your career, your friends, your family, your hobbies etc… just my two cents

“It would do the world good if every man would compel himself occasionally to be absolutely alone. Most of the world’s progress has come out of such loneliness.”

“I’ve Had Enough So So For the Rest of my Life”

there are few things worse than watching your friend settle for someone who isn’t good enough for them. i just can’t wrap my head around the concept of settling. i mean, sure…nobody is perfect and all that, but they can be perfect for you.

it’s no secret. finding “the one” is no easy feat. if you’ve found that person (or think you have ~ for now), good for you, i’m happy for you. thrilled. ecstatic. and possibly a little envious. if you haven’t, then i can relate.

the media pervades our minds with ideas of forever…and not a realistic version of it. we’re supposed to find ‘the one’ and live happily ever after. don’t get me wrong. i’m secretly a hopeless romantic and i loooooove the all the cheesy movies that are responsible for my lack of clarity when i fall for a boy. but all that said, one does need to keep a level head and realize (sadly) that these situation just don’t tend to happen in real life.

happy endings don’t just materialize after your lost glass slipper created by your fairy godmother is placed on your foot. you have to fight (fairly) for them. and want them. and believe in them. it’s not easy, it takes work. and most people aren’t willing to do what it takes (hence our divorce rate). or maybe we just don’t know HOW to do it? maybe our parents didn’t set the best example? maybe our family is filled with cheaters and liars and we’re unable to figure out how to make a good, healthy relationship work. true love isn’t forever unless you’re really interested in making it work. and based on our fat, lazy society…how many people look like they’re interested in anything that takes any work?

sorry if that’s a little hard to swallow, but i sincerely believe this. for example, i LOVE food. LOVE it. i love sweets, i love peanut butter, i love chips, i LOVE lemon month at souplantation, i love it all. but guess what? i also love fitting into my pants…so, i’ve come to accept that it takes work. it takes exercise, moderation, and constant work. it’s a sad, true fact.

i’m no stranger to love. i’ve loved several times…and several times thought it was my ‘forever love’, but every time – it didn’t last. the reasons were different each time…but it all essentially boiled down to the same thing: we changed. and grew apart.

my 20 year-old self wanted something very different than my (almost) 30 year-old self does. and my 25 year-old self wanted something completely different than my 27 year-old self…what i’m getting at is: people change…it’s inevitable, but the key seems to be finding someone you can grow with. clearly it happens. otherwise we wouldn’t see couples celebrating 50 year anniversaries. i’m always curious about these couples. are they still in love? were they ever? when the butterflies and sparks fade, what remains?

this has basically just turned into a stream of consciousness at this point…thoughts and ideas on love, relationships…i realize i’m all over the place, but that’s how i am on the subject in general. at least, for now. so, look for love. and be romantic, but remember to use wise mind and in the end, if the love you’ve found doesn’t work then cherish the good memories and look forward to great times ahead.

our experiences will all be different, but in the end, that’s all you have: your own story. and your own experiences by which to define love. and who knows? maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones celebrating your 50 year anniversary…