“A gambler can’t gamble if the dealer rejects his money.”

“The Truth is heavy, therefore few carry it.”

“A few years’ experience will convince us that those things, which at the time they happened we regarded as our greatest misfortunes, have proved to be our greatest blessings.”

“I figured that if I said it enough, I would convince the world that I really was the greatest.” -Muhammad Ali

“Leadership is doing what you know is right – even when everyone else is trying to convince you to accept what you know to be wrong.

“Truth: the most deadly weapon ever discovered by humanity. Capable of destroying entire perceptual sets, cultures, and realities. Outlawed by all governments everywhere. Possession is normally punishable by death.”

“Believe in yourself and stop trying to convince others.”

“People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and anyone who insists on remaining in a state of innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster.”

“An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit.”

“The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury.” –Charlie Chaplin

“Love fails, only when we fail to love.”

“The source of many’s problems are their blessings.”

People treat one another so disposable now a days, it’s pretty sad if you think about it. I try my best to apologize when I’m wrong, or hurt someone’s feelings, and know I would never let a friendship end because of something hurtful I initiated, so if my friends can’t do the same? I’m not going to beg them to be a friend. If you have to ask someone to care or act like a friend, chances are they don’t and aren’t.

Not sure who should reach out and apologize first? Well, it takes two to fight and two to repair the problem, but there usually is an origin to the fight. If you caused the problem or initiated the disagreement, most would agree it is on you to step up and initiate communication. So they reacted poorly, or in a way that pissed you off in return? Well, try to look past that and remember you, intentionally or unintentionally, caused the initial pain, so try to put your ego aside and take responsibility for where you’re at. Chances are they will apologize as well and you both will feel much, much better after a good talk!

The lesson here is to get over your ego and if you’ve hurt someone you love’s feelings, reach out and do what’s right and apologize. The friendship doesn’t even need to necessarily continue in all cases, sometimes it’s nice just to clear the air, agree to disagree, and both move on with closure and a clean conscious.

“Apologies have more power than most of us realize to restore strained relationships, free us from vengeful impulses, and create possibilities for growth.”

“Apology is the practice of extending ourselves because we value the relationship more than we value the need to be right.”

“We value apology in the abstract, but turn our backs on it in practice.”

“An apology is the superglue of life.  It can repair just about anything.”

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

“Accepting the apology signals the acknowledgment of a need to move forward, but not necessarily together.”

I started to argue with him like no, no, no that’s not true, my ex loved me a lot, he was just a weak person who made bad choices, but realistically it is true. No man, truly in love, would let his weaknesses conquer the right girl. We love to make excuses for the fools in our lives and we also love to lie to ourselves and tell ourselves they love us but no, people that cheat, lie, and walk away from you don’t love you. They might think they do, they might care a lottttttt about you, but they would commit 100% to you if they were sure about you.

Of course there are those small chances your man does really love you and did make one mistake in the beginning but the way he fixed that mistake is everything. Some people mess up and learn their lesson for good, but others just keep messing up. That’s him letting you go. If he by chance did fix the destruction he caused, and did whatever it took to get you back, then maybe, but all these guys who mess up and don’t change for the better, for good? Not love. That’s a guy who likes you enough to put in a bit of an effort, but not enough to change his ways. Lust vs. Like vs. Love, they’re all veryyyy different. Realize this. One difference between Lust & Love? Lust = Benefiting yourself at other’s expense. Love = Benefiting others at your expense.

So with that being said, my Sappy Sunday of the week, oops it’s Friday… ahaha is “The right guy won’t let the right girl get away. If he lets you go, let him.”

]]> http://www.helloamanda.com/2010/11/lust-vs-like-vs-love/feed/ 12 http://www.helloamanda.com/2010/09/values/ http://www.helloamanda.com/2010/09/values/#comments Sun, 19 Sep 2010 19:15:46 +0000 amandajo http://www.helloamanda.com/?p=6214 Every morning I lay in bed and read tweets, it takes me a second to wake up and get focused, and what better way to get focused than to read tweets Anyway, this morning while laying in my stuffy little room, I became so jealous reading all Kim Kardashian’s and her Mom’s Italy tweets, it really got me thinking… if you sacrifice everything you stand for, really, anything is possible. I mean who the heck is Kim Kardashian anyway? Why am I not in Italy with my Mom eating breakfast on some ocean front balcony as paparazzi follow me around town? So annoying! I’ve alwaysssss loved Kim, I really think style wise, she is one of the cutest around, but that doesn’t mean I love who she is, and what she stands for. A lot of people confuse my obsession with her.

Honestly Kim is famous for her sex tape with Ray J, it was 100% planned and her plan worked. I have friends who work in LA and have confirmed that Kim planned the entire thing. Isn’t it just crazy to think that if you just put all your values aside, and do something scandalous, you could be travelling the world living out all your dreams? I find myself questioning what the best way to live is. A super fun, honest, value filled life with amazing family and friends all while waiting for Italy trips to come due to your own real success, or the easy way… taking off your clothes and using your looks to make your way to the top. Bentley’s, beach vacations, boys throwing themselves at her, shopping sprees, I mean I want it alllllllll ahhhhh.

I realize that those things are all amazing, but I could never live with myself knowing at night I had it all because I was a sell out and made a sex tape. For me that’s not real.

It also reminded me of the time my best friend and I sat on the phone calling all the escorts her boyfriend was sleeping with. This one bitch was texting her the most awful things. “Your man bought my tits” When my friend told her she was an empty, pathetic person for selling her ass for a boob job, her reply was “I live a life of luxury and love it!!!!” Are you kidding me???? What is luxurious about selling your entire worth and existence for a Louis bag? You’re a c*m dumpster, I rather be homeless eating pizza out of the trash can than carrying a Louis Vuitton someone else’s man bought after paying to sleep with me. What is wrong with everyone!??! I mean you really think you’re classy because of that purse? You’re a paid whore, there is nothing lower class than that.I realize 90% of the world would compromise their values if it meant gaining something of material substance quick and most these people genuinely see these “things” as the cause of their happiness. What they don’t realize is it’s temporary happiness, it does not last. Everyone wants the quick buck, the simple solution all while here I am trying to just find my way, my place, trusting that the money will come when you do what you love, even if it takes 3 years longer, so what. I can keep my clothes on and wait.

So as bitter as I may be that I am not on a private jet flying my parents around Italy, I know that at least one day I’ll be able to take them on a nice vacation, hey maybe even to Italy, with money I earned through hard work and not from money I made sacrificing myself and selling out.

Anyone can be hot, anyone can go to the gym everyday, anyone can get a boob job, anyone can find a sugar daddy, anyone can sell their ass, anyone can get surgery, it’s not hard. Flirt with one stupid rich guy, fake love him and bam you’re hot over night. I mean look at every one of Hef’s girlfriends. They walk in total trailer trash and walk out ten times prettier and celebrities. It’s nuts. I remember one episode of Girls Next Door, Kendra literally kissed her boobs and thanked them for her success. You think Kendra would have EVER been famous without her boobs, um no. How can you go to sleep at night knowing you exist only because of two bags some doctor jammed into you.

Most these girls love to pull the “You’re jealous” card too. Um I’ve been to Playboy 532 times. You don’t think I coulda bleached  my hair, taken out a loan, shoved some boobs in me, gotten a nice spray tan and lurked Hef’s table until I was picked up? I mean one of my best friends was asked to be one of his girlfriends and she was like um no. It’s not hard.

We went to Playboy for the free drinks and dinner because we were/are fat and liked/like to eat, oh and of course we loved to dress up and take cute pics too. After every Playboy party my best friend and I would wake up with chocolate cookies over flowing out of our purses. Our priority was to smuggle as many cookies home as possible, not to become famous by being a skank

Yes I once was blonde...

I will always take the P!NK route. Everyone thought P!NK was lame compared to Britney Spears, and while I did love hot ass Brit, today I appreciate and love P!NK wayyyy more. Look at Brit now, washed up, divorced, fat, and a single mom raising 2 kids with a different boyfriend every other week. Being hot eventually ends. Pink never sold out and made it by simply being a hard working, big hearted girl with a plan. A real celeb to admire and standing strong still unlike most others of her time.

As hot and desirable as some people are, if you really get down to who they are and what they stand for, they’re pretty lame. So the Sappy Sunday for today?

“Nothing of great value in this life comes easily. The things of highest value sometimes come hard. The gold that has the greatest value lies deepest in the earth, as do the diamonds.”

His friend chimed in and laughed, “Bad timing? There’s no such thing. Bad timing = bad person.” It made me think… Do you guys believe in the whole two people in the right place at the right time thing? Or do you believe you could meet your soul mate today, one not be ready, spend time apart, and pick up where you left off? I’ve never thought about bad timing meaning simply the person is bad for you forever?

To me once you start dating someone else tho, the old relationship never is the same. You lose interest and become excited about your new relationship. With both my exes in the past, when we broke up, I had the intentions of walking away but maybe going back at a later date. Looking back now? I’d never everrrrrrrrrr be with either of my exes again. Too much bad happened, too much drama, we all dated new people, old problems would re-surface bla bla no thanks. So maybe bad timing ruins all hopes of a relationship with that person in the future? But then here I go again thinking the opposite, well maybe if what I had with those guys was real, (Key word IF), maybe it could be possible to reunite later? If both parties were willing to conquer all the problems together?

My question to you all I guess is, how long do you wait to be on the same page with someone when dating? At what point do you walk away? Is there such thing as perfect timing or can you work together to create perfect timing? How many games does one endure until its time to let the other “not ready” party go?

I really think you have to date someone who might be a bit clueless on certain things, but at the end of the day is ready to admit to you, themselves and the world that they’re in a relationship. You don’t have to talk about babies and weddings or living together but why bother dating someone who simply isn’t ready to commit to you and only you, or who is busy playing games or putting other things first? Emailing/texting/hanging out with other girls, hiding you to certain people, flirting with other people, refusing to commit, why bother? I definitely believe in bad timing, and have yet to see bad timing = the right person, but I guess anything’s possible right? For me personally, if you take me for granted while you have me, and as a result lose me, I will want nothing to do with you after I clean up your mess, break free from your drama, and move on.

My only option is refusing to settle for less. If someone is not on your same page, communicate your needs and then give them a bit of time to catch up or to at least offer some sort of incentive for you to stay. If they continue to prove they’re not ready, let them go. You definitely can’t force someone else to be ready. Time will tell It will either be bad timing = bad person, or bad timing= better person later? A risk life forces us to take.

“Life is all about timing… the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable… attainable. Have the patience, wait it out It’s all about timing.”

Thoughts on timing?

I had a falling out with a few friends a while ago for petty reasons and I finally, 974 years later, realized it was so dumb and pointless and forgave them without them even asking for it. I decided I was done letting it drag on and actually went out last night with some of them and had fun. Life doesn’t need to be so dramatic. Forgive and move on. It feels sooooo much better to let things go. One less stress and worry.

You don’t have to like everyone or be friends with everyone, but it’s so pointless to hate someone, especially someone you used to love. Whenever I think I hate something or someone, I always say this quote in my head “People hate what they don’t understand” which makes me stop and think about why I am hating them. Maybe if you just talk to someone and try to understand them, you can avoid hating them all together.

So the Sappy Sunday of today? Forgive people & instead of hating them, try to understand them.

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.”

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.”

Brittany Murphy.

Murphy has been accused of having an eating disorder earlier in her career which some believed was tied to a cocaine habit. The Los Angeles City Fire Department confirmed that a 911 call was made at 8 a.m. from Murphy’s West Hollywood home, according to several reports. Murphy’s mom found her unconscious in the shower. She was pronounced dead upon arrival at Cedars Sinai Medical Center. What is weird about the whole thing is her husband does not want an autopsy performed. Interesting.

It really is crazy how scary drugs are and how people fail to realize the damage they posses, I have no desire to even experiment with them. Hello, there is a reason they’re illegal, because they take over your entire being without you even knowing it or wanting them to. Maybe you’re one of the few who can handle doing drugs on occasion, but maybe you’re the person they will control forever, ultimately leaving you dead in your shower? For me it’s just not worth the risk.

I guess it is hard realizing something of this nature while struggling with an addiction. Anyway…we all know how I feel about drugs so I’ll wrap this one up…

Today’s sappy Sunday? The obvious… take someone else’s mistake and learn from it.

“It’s said that a fool learns from their own mistakes, a wise man from the mistakes of others.”

Take a second not only to appreciate what you have but to realize how fast life can be taken from you. If you are fighting with someone, headed down a path you might not want to be headed, involved with a bad crowd, know someone struggling with addiction… you have the ability to change it all or at least give it your best try to while you still can. A second chance is never promised.

Also think about all the drama she endured with that husband of hers, all the petty fights… looking back, they were all so tiny in the overall perspective, pick and choose your battles. I see so many people wasting time fighting over the stupidest stuff. Even that NFL player who just died fighting with his fiance over wedding costs. She has to live with that guilt for the rest of her life. Love & forgive everyone, there is just absolutely no reason not to. One day we will all be gone, lets make the best of our time here together

With all these recent cheaters, combined with my own life experience of crappy boyfriends and friends, I can’t help but go off on a tangent about how crazy our time really is. Even talking to my 82 year old grandma last night, she tells me in all her years alive, right now is the worst it has ever, ever been. How awful is that? To say that in her entire life this society and this nation is the worst its ever been?

It really gets me thinking. What is different? What has changed? Well, I have no idea WHEN or WHERE it changed but things are certainly different. Here are my thoughts on why our society is a total mess:

1. Dumber girls with zero self respect. Bigger boobs, shorter skirts, easier girls. Music videos tell us that is what is hot and wanted, all being told to us by these fool rappers that end up cheating on their wives and girlfriends anyway. The dumber women get, the more men want to use them, the more they don’t respect traditional relationships, why would they? I really don’t blame men entirely. Honestly, if I was a guy in today’s society I would think women were a total joke. Average, normal girls now commonly resort to prostitution and sleeping with married men/celebrities to feel self worth. Like did all these mistresses Tiger was with think they were really the only one? HE HAS A WIFE! Why are you in his HOUSE? Why are you texting him? Because you’re dumb, desperate, and ok with being the total random chick on the side.

Girls are way way way too easy today, they stand for nothing and fall for everything. Are ALL girls this way? Of course not, but overall I think girls are responsible for more than the men. Men have and always will do what they are allowed.

Click to continue…

2. Dating & marrying for all the wrong reasons. Dating is no longer dating to prepare for marriage, people date to waste time, not be bored, and to be taken care of… The majority of boyfriends could care less about their gfs and spend years cheating with no remorse until they are caught. I know at least 3 Charger players who have serious gfs and fiances who cheat andddd, the girls KNOW they cheat. Forget athletes, I know guy friends who have live in girlfriends who cheat. Why do the girls stay? Do you really have that little self worth to think you don’t deserve better?

Relationships aren’t based on love, respect, or friendship anymore. I have every last intention of remaining single forever unless I meet someone who possesses the same respect I have for a relationship. We don’t have to talk about babies and houses, but if your eyes are constantly on the waitress while we’re out, or if you’re busy texting 5 other girls while dating me, I am dumping you and never looking back. A crappy relationship doesn’t bring anything to my life, I don’t need that false security.

If you go out and have thoughts of other women when you have a girl at home? You are disgusting. Save everyone the trouble and just be single. Tiger Woods? Perfect example of someone who should have NEVER married. The scariest part to me is that there are men out there who honestly should never marry but do. They will cheat their entire lives and you may or may not ever know about it. Careful who you marry & always trust your gut.

3. Laziness. People are lazier than ever and want the easiest, fastest solution to EVERYTHING. Shady well paying jobs, the drug and porn industry, trophy girlfriends that keep quiet, no one wants to work for anything. Few carry a strong work ethic these days. Girls sleep with men for cars, apartments, jobs…. men leave their wives of decades for girls half their age because it’s easier than fixing their marriage. It’s all pure selfish, laziness. People are more afraid to be in love and happy so they run from the workload out of fear. Grow up. Work for something, anything.

4. Money. Everyone is obsessed with money because with money comes power. Everyone wants the power to be lazy, to pick and choose what they care about and when. With money comes the power to care or… eh, not so much. A lot of people I meet these days that have money treat me like I am disposable. Why? Because they can just buy another one of me. Another friend, another girl to date, another car to make them feel better, whatever they want they can buy. After I told some rich guy I wasn’t into him he literally said to me, “Just so you know there will always be hotter girls with less attitude.” Oh really? Like I don’t know that. Who even thinks that way? A man who can buy another hotter, younger version of me, that’s who. What is hilarious is I saw his new “hotter, attitude free girl with some new guy last weekend” So much for that. I will never be the hot, quiet girl. People with jaded values see money as security when it should be the opposite. For me my friends and family are my security, they are more important to me than any money amount. Why everyone else forgets this, I’m not sure. It seems that people in general just care about the wrong things these days.

I mean I have people I have known for years letting me down. People tell me its me having high expectations, but I disagree. To me, it’s you just having lower values and standards for your relationships than I do. I just can’t believe how quick people are to hurt the people that love them. I don’t understand it, everything in life is a choice.

My new years resolution unfortunately is to give less to people who give less to me. I never wanted to be that selfish person who expects in return for giving, but after being let down over and over by people, I have no other choice. I am too trusting and hopeful that people care about me the same I care for them and the sad truth is, most don’t. I am super sensitive so I get really upset by let downs. I can’t deal with the stress of it anymore, I have to just try my best to surround myself with happy, loyal, supportive people. It is sad we live in a time where we have to keep our guards up, I am not saying guard yourself from the world, but be cautious with your energy, emotions and heart. People will break your heart without even knowing it, with no intention to. So with that longggg rant being said, my sappy Sunday of today?

“It’s funny how things work out when u let go of everything that doesn’t serve your happiness!”

All we can really do is get rid of the people and things that let us down. It might be hard but if you’re constantly sad over something or someone? They have to go. You will notice your life is a happier place once the negative things are gone. Surround yourself with people who value the same things as you and refuse to give into this sick nation obsessed with short term happiness. Trust there are still good people left who do want the same things you do. They are out there. Somewhere, hiding, but they are

We must also always remember that there is tons of good happening to us as well, don’t forget how good you have it the majority of the time! Like everyone says, sometimes you gotta make it through the rain to appreciate the sun. If you are going through a similar situation, really try to see the good in the bad, I promise it’s there.

So, even though this week was crappy, I learned my family & friends will come to the rescue and it was nice to know that no matter what happens I have that support. I am lucky to have it

Thanks to everyone who helped me out this week I LOVE my Fam & Friends so much! Was a great weekend!

“We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.”

“The best way to appreciate anything is to imagine yourself without it.”

I often come across cool opportunities which my friends know I share with everyone. I want my friends to succeed, to be the best, to be happy, to experience awesome new things so I never leave anyone out. I really do offer my connections to all my friends, but lately I have had friends not giving the same. You know you all have that one friend who sneaks off to the cool stuff, and doesn’t invite you?

Well, one of my closest friends acts that way. She wants to be a part of all the “cool” stuff, and always asks where I get certain things, but when I ask for anything from her, it never happens, why? She takes everything from everyone, yet never gives back to anyone and I finally see how sad it is. Such a sad life to see people as stepping stones and nothing more. I’m getting to the point where I can’t really invest in selfish, jealous people anymore. She wants to keep everything to herself. Parties, fun jobs, photo-shoots, it’s sad considering I have included her in TONS of those things, offering them to her on my OWN.

Have a friend like this? Well, bring it to their attention.The only way to solve this problem is to talk to people with this sickness, and if they refuse to change well… you tried. Eliminate people like this asap.

“In jealousy there is more self-love than love.”

“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.”

So today, remember to be happy for your friends’ success as well as your own. Have a cool opportunity? Return the favor on your OWN, be a friend, include everyone, don’t keep things to yourself. It’s ugly.