Nelly On whether you should confess to cheating, even if you don’t get caught…

Obviously no one wants to get cheated on and no one wants to hurt the person they are with. I think its one of those things where” to each its own”. No relationship is the same and I think that is what we are forgetting when we look at this. A relationship should be whatever makes those two people happy. That’s what we forget. Everyone is trying to stereotype what a relationship should be. If those two people are happy, that’s the way it should be. I hate when you look at all these books on how to make a relationship work. How the hell you are going to say how to make a relationship work when people aren’t the same? Their environment aren’t the same. They go to marriage counselors telling them how a relationship should be and his relationship ain’t even right.

Nelly On Tiger Woods In The Media…

I don’t see how all these wimpy ass cats are coming out talking about how they’ve lost all this respect for Tiger…. If I was tiger i would say “I’m apologizing to my wife and my family. I’m not apologizing to nobody else out here. I don’t owe nobody else anything. This was MY wife. That’s who he owes his apology to. He owes that to his kids. It has nothing to do with golf. That has nothing to do with a public perception. That was a personal relationship. That’s what I hate. He without sin cast the first stone. That’s how I feel. Can’t no one mess with that man on the golf course and I hope he comes out and whips everyone’s ass. I’m cheering for Tiger than ever now.

Nelly On Side Pieces and Jump Offs on the come up…

If Tiger would have been hanging with the brothas, he’d have been up on his game right now and we could have pulled him to the side and said “yo pimp, don’t do that. That’s not a good move right there. She’s gonna get you caught up homes”…and it would have been alright. There are opportunist everywhere and in everything that you do. It’s hard when you are the biggest at what you do. When you do that, they see dollar signs and even though they may not want to hurt you, survival is the most important top of the food chain. So when people see an opportunity to be successful, however it may come, they think about that. You don’t want people to think about being successful at your expense. Unfortunately there is alot of people getting rich off of Tiger right now (News, sports channels, magazines) and nobody is taking in consideration that his life is in shambles. Tell all these wimpy ass men to stand up and support the man. Not support what he has done. This could be you. Your business just not out there right now.

That was my 2009, no right one in sight so I will make do with what I got. I thought it would be fun to go through my 2009 dating line up to share with you what made all of my 2009 men deal breakers.

1. The never ending break up. Never make the mistake of trying to re-date your ex, especially when they aren’t even asking to get back together. I made that mistake of allowing that whole lets hang out as “friends” thing and boy did I learn my lesson.  Oh so we’re friends as you date other girls? Ya nooo. Don’t go there. I learned unless he is at your door begging for you back, he’s just killing time. Don’t be your ex bf’s security blanket.

2. Athletes- Sure they’re hot, successful and wanted by many, but at the end of the day most are utterly pointless. I talked to one NFL’er for a bit but realized I was just 1/500 others. I learned there is no point dating someone like that. As much as I love athletic guys and football, I could never sacrifice my happiness by staying with a professional athlete as a side dish. I don’t know how or why girl’s allow themselves to be involved in that. For 2010? Just say no to men who want more than one woman. Tiger Woods included. Who cares who they are, if you sense they are players, save yourself the time. If they leave her for you, they’ll leave you for her.

Joshy is irrelevant to this post Click to read more about my mistake men…

3. The Hot, Dumb Guys- Gosh hot dumb guys are so tempting. I’m sure it is the same with hot dumb girls, there is just something about dating a super hot guy… But like athletes, it’s all pointless if you have nothing else in common. So many girls date guys simply because they’re hot. The other night I met the hottest guy ever, but he was so dumb I just had to walk away. Most hot guys are obsessed with being hot, and need to be told they’re hot and wanted every second. Too high maintenance and the second you’re not feeding their ego they’re off to find someone else who will.

4. The Rich Guy- I meet so many guys who try to buy me, I have had cars, houses, shopping sprees offered, what ever I want, however I want none of it. I dated this one guy who wanted to get married without even knowing me. So many rich men just want to date a fun girl and fake a marriage. I couldn’t do it, nothing is more annoying than hearing rich guys constantly brag, “I am going to Miami for so and so’s party”, kewl! “I just bought a limited edition Porsche Px9sZ00″ kewl! The rich guys I were meeting were jaded, in their eyes, money buys whatever they want. There will always be someone hotter and easier they can buy if you get a lil lippy. I learned I could never be with someone solely for money.

5. The Fear of Commitment Man or should I say Boy- This guy would tell me we were perfect for each other, would tell me we’re getting married, etc. Joking or not we had a perfect friendship and never dated because he was too big of pu double s y to take it there. I knew we would have been such a perfect couple and BFFs but I got sick of waiting around for him to man up. Next

6. The Demanding Spoiled Guys- What is up with these weirdo men who instantly wanna call the shots? Asking for pictures of me? I don’t know your ass why would I send you a picture of me. They are also the guys telling you what to do right away. Wear your hair like this, wear this for me, etc. How about um no? I am sorry you’re used to getting your way with easy girls, but that road stops…um… here. How you deal with the fork in the road doesn’t matter to me. Go left, go right, but after one hang out you are not calling the shots, and not getting a picture.

7. The Players- I dated a guy who was dating 3 others girls. Deep down I knew what was going on but I pretended everything was ok. I learned to always trust my gut. If you think you’re being played, you probably are. If someone gives compliments too easily and they seem generic? They probably are. If someone is telling you they miss you but aren’t making plans with you? They are probably busy with someone else. All you players get left in ’09.

8. The Broke Joke- I am SOOO not the girl who only dates guys with money, both my past BFs have been broke, however I am 26, I can’t be splitting Golden Spoon tabs. I was talking to this guy who honestly would split $6.00 bills with me! I didn’t mind at first but I realized I had already been down this road. I can not take someone serious who can’t cover a $6.00 bill. The end.

That is all I can brainstorm for now. As you can see I have dated an array of mistake men and even though it was a blast getting to know all these clowns, I must kiss them all goodbye midnight of 2010. I left out many I dated probably because there wasn’t really one thing wrong with them, more so either bad timing or not much in common. Anyway…

My New Years Resolution is really to focus on keeping quality people in my life, people that only bring positivity and genuine friendship to the table. All this other bs I stated above is sewwww ’09.

Happy Almost New Year! And beware of 2009 dating! Lets really make 2010 the year we get what we want!

With all these recent cheaters, combined with my own life experience of crappy boyfriends and friends, I can’t help but go off on a tangent about how crazy our time really is. Even talking to my 82 year old grandma last night, she tells me in all her years alive, right now is the worst it has ever, ever been. How awful is that? To say that in her entire life this society and this nation is the worst its ever been?

It really gets me thinking. What is different? What has changed? Well, I have no idea WHEN or WHERE it changed but things are certainly different. Here are my thoughts on why our society is a total mess:

1. Dumber girls with zero self respect. Bigger boobs, shorter skirts, easier girls. Music videos tell us that is what is hot and wanted, all being told to us by these fool rappers that end up cheating on their wives and girlfriends anyway. The dumber women get, the more men want to use them, the more they don’t respect traditional relationships, why would they? I really don’t blame men entirely. Honestly, if I was a guy in today’s society I would think women were a total joke. Average, normal girls now commonly resort to prostitution and sleeping with married men/celebrities to feel self worth. Like did all these mistresses Tiger was with think they were really the only one? HE HAS A WIFE! Why are you in his HOUSE? Why are you texting him? Because you’re dumb, desperate, and ok with being the total random chick on the side.

Girls are way way way too easy today, they stand for nothing and fall for everything. Are ALL girls this way? Of course not, but overall I think girls are responsible for more than the men. Men have and always will do what they are allowed.

Click to continue…

2. Dating & marrying for all the wrong reasons. Dating is no longer dating to prepare for marriage, people date to waste time, not be bored, and to be taken care of… The majority of boyfriends could care less about their gfs and spend years cheating with no remorse until they are caught. I know at least 3 Charger players who have serious gfs and fiances who cheat andddd, the girls KNOW they cheat. Forget athletes, I know guy friends who have live in girlfriends who cheat. Why do the girls stay? Do you really have that little self worth to think you don’t deserve better?

Relationships aren’t based on love, respect, or friendship anymore. I have every last intention of remaining single forever unless I meet someone who possesses the same respect I have for a relationship. We don’t have to talk about babies and houses, but if your eyes are constantly on the waitress while we’re out, or if you’re busy texting 5 other girls while dating me, I am dumping you and never looking back. A crappy relationship doesn’t bring anything to my life, I don’t need that false security.

If you go out and have thoughts of other women when you have a girl at home? You are disgusting. Save everyone the trouble and just be single. Tiger Woods? Perfect example of someone who should have NEVER married. The scariest part to me is that there are men out there who honestly should never marry but do. They will cheat their entire lives and you may or may not ever know about it. Careful who you marry & always trust your gut.

3. Laziness. People are lazier than ever and want the easiest, fastest solution to EVERYTHING. Shady well paying jobs, the drug and porn industry, trophy girlfriends that keep quiet, no one wants to work for anything. Few carry a strong work ethic these days. Girls sleep with men for cars, apartments, jobs…. men leave their wives of decades for girls half their age because it’s easier than fixing their marriage. It’s all pure selfish, laziness. People are more afraid to be in love and happy so they run from the workload out of fear. Grow up. Work for something, anything.

4. Money. Everyone is obsessed with money because with money comes power. Everyone wants the power to be lazy, to pick and choose what they care about and when. With money comes the power to care or… eh, not so much. A lot of people I meet these days that have money treat me like I am disposable. Why? Because they can just buy another one of me. Another friend, another girl to date, another car to make them feel better, whatever they want they can buy. After I told some rich guy I wasn’t into him he literally said to me, “Just so you know there will always be hotter girls with less attitude.” Oh really? Like I don’t know that. Who even thinks that way? A man who can buy another hotter, younger version of me, that’s who. What is hilarious is I saw his new “hotter, attitude free girl with some new guy last weekend” So much for that. I will never be the hot, quiet girl. People with jaded values see money as security when it should be the opposite. For me my friends and family are my security, they are more important to me than any money amount. Why everyone else forgets this, I’m not sure. It seems that people in general just care about the wrong things these days.

I mean I have people I have known for years letting me down. People tell me its me having high expectations, but I disagree. To me, it’s you just having lower values and standards for your relationships than I do. I just can’t believe how quick people are to hurt the people that love them. I don’t understand it, everything in life is a choice.

My new years resolution unfortunately is to give less to people who give less to me. I never wanted to be that selfish person who expects in return for giving, but after being let down over and over by people, I have no other choice. I am too trusting and hopeful that people care about me the same I care for them and the sad truth is, most don’t. I am super sensitive so I get really upset by let downs. I can’t deal with the stress of it anymore, I have to just try my best to surround myself with happy, loyal, supportive people. It is sad we live in a time where we have to keep our guards up, I am not saying guard yourself from the world, but be cautious with your energy, emotions and heart. People will break your heart without even knowing it, with no intention to. So with that longggg rant being said, my sappy Sunday of today?

“It’s funny how things work out when u let go of everything that doesn’t serve your happiness!”

All we can really do is get rid of the people and things that let us down. It might be hard but if you’re constantly sad over something or someone? They have to go. You will notice your life is a happier place once the negative things are gone. Surround yourself with people who value the same things as you and refuse to give into this sick nation obsessed with short term happiness. Trust there are still good people left who do want the same things you do. They are out there. Somewhere, hiding, but they are

*UPDATE: I am not dissing on goatee/stash combos. They are NOT suggested, however they are not nearly as repulsive as these little thin, clean mustaches below.

If you have a stash, shave it now! Thanks

Why are Jay & Beyonce so cute? This is the kind of guy I would settle for, a ride or die Clyde. Swaggaaa on point, mature, successful, smart, loves his B,  independent, however down to cause a little trouble

This is still one of my all time favorite videos! Down to ride ’til the very end, it’s me and my boyfriend.

Now I am no expert on guy’s fashion, but I do know what girls like to see on guys. To me, I think for both men and women, looking your best starts with basic grooming.  If a person has nice skin, hits the gym every so often, has groomed hair and overall looks fresh and clean, then choosing an outfit is the easy part. With that being sad, guys… Please start here

*Hair- Stay on top of that hairy neck. Keep your hair trimmed and clean. For me short hair is the best. Few can pull off long hair styles and most end up just looking messy.

*Skin- Invest in some good skin care products. Skin care products are NOT only for girls. Just don’t be weird about it. You should be wearing a face lotion with SPF in it each day. It protects your skin as well as hydrates it leaving your skin fresh and glowy. You also should make friends with the sun once and a while to make sure you do have a bit of color. Pale is never cute.

* Hands/Feet- I hate men that are TOO groomed so make sure your hands and feet aren’t chewed up, but again no clear nail polish, creepy. Keep them short and clean and lotioned at least once a month jeezzz.

* Eyebrows- Eyebrows are a critical issue. Remove one hair too many and your whole face could be ruined so guys, be careful! Overly plucked man eyebrows are just as bad as a unibrow to me. A little off the middle, a little tinyyyyyy baby bit off the underneath and you should be good. If you are removing half your eyebrow chances are your face is ruined!!!!!!! Let them grow, just not too much

*Facial Hair- I dislike most facial hair. It’s scruffy and messy. But, an occasional scruff, when done correct looks ok. Just keep it trimmed up and as clean looking as possible.

Perfect man brow & scruff combo!

Now that we have your hair, skin and limbs covered we can get to outfits. To be honest I prefer guys in simple things. Black or White button up and some nice dark jeans. A simple T-shirt, Blazer, Jacket and jeans.

*Tip: Steam or iron your clothes. It makes you come off that much sharper My steamer and lint roller are my bffs.

Day/Night styles that work:

Minus the hat and glasses, his outfit is cute and casual. Jeans, T, sneakers. Done.

Dressier- Love all black. NO fadeddd black ever. 2 buttons unbuttoned, never more, never less. You can dress this look up with matching slacks or down with distressed or dark denim.

Shoes: I love converse or sneakers for daytime and occasional flip flops if your feet are ok and any normal dress shoe in black or brown for fancier nights. When guys dress shoes are too fancy I think it’s weird. I am not a fan of super pointy, or white dress shoes. Celebs can pull them off but when a normal guy tries to it just looks funny. So my tip to guys is to keep it simple.

Few More Guy Wardrobe No’s:

* Pierced ears. Unless you are an athlete or celeb, it’s just another one of those things that looks weird to me.

* Anything dirty. Beat up shoes, undies, shirts, even gym clothes… if there are holes in it, trash can!

* Ed Hardy of course is a no, all those swirly skull shirts are a no sorry Rob!

So on my drive home today from OC back to SD, I heard Ne-Yo on the radio which then inspired me to dig out and pop in my Year of the Gentleman CD. I love this CD. I love Ne-yo. Ne-Yo is just so awesome, everything about him (Minus his look, not super into it). I love all of his songs, his music style, his voice, but I would never want him to sing to me, that’d be creepy. I don’t like guys that sing to girls, I just think its stressful and awkward. So with that being said, I think that in a competition for my love, Nelly would still hold the title as champion. There is just something about Nelly’s swag that’s so dreamy. Nice guys don’t finish last with me but clingy, obsessed, guys with guitars singing to me do. Idk what I would do if Nelly sang to me, I think I’d be over him. Anyway, the point of this post was for you to buy/DL/listen to Year of the Gentleman, its not new, its last year’s CD but its just a great CD. Oooh and another good Ne-yo song, NOT on that CD that my friend Scott discovered is called “Over my Head” been listening to that on repeat as well! I loveee Ne-Yo! My favorite songs on this cd, in this order are

1. Fade into the Background

2. So you can Cry

3. Why does she Stay

4. Miss Independent

5. Mad

6. Part of the List

Ok so yeah maybe I love the whole cd?

Click the pic to get a full list of all the songs or to preview any!

Click to read more & see video of Nelly LIVE from the Palms!

So I run to the computer of the house we were at and hit up Southwest.com… please please please let there be a flight left pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee….

Nope, nothing. All flights from SD were departed. Great. Of course. I can go see Nelly and I am stuck in stupid San Diego. Ok so then I hit up Orbitz.com, americanairlines.com, unitedairlines.com etc etc. I searched every single airline and the ONLY flight leaving SD to Vegas was at 9pm and I wouldn’t even arrive until 12am after stopping in HOUSTON first. Um no thanks. Keep in mind I am in flats and spandex at this point, I was in no condition to be Nelly chasing.

So I pouted the entire night and cried to my friends. Everyone at the BBQ def thought I was so annoying and thirsty for Nelly but again, whatever. Anyway my BFF was on Nelly patrol and spent the entire night with her Flip camera recording Nelly for me

Check out one of the videos she sent me! Ps he was singing to me

Nelly @ the Palms!

Click more to hear me rant more about settlers.

I want someone who completes me. A best friend. Someone I can do anything and everything with. Someone I want to be around, someone who makes me the best I can be. I realize the majority of people don’t think like this. Most people don’t dig too deep when it comes to dating. They date the easy girl… she’s cute enough, nice enough, no drama, looks good on paper, so why not. When a guy likes me too soon, it’s gross to me. It shows me he’s desperate for a girlfriend, when instead he should be trying to get to know me.

One of my best friends is dating this girl that is a total joke. I am sick of telling him what a joke she is because he refuses to see it. I realize I can’t force my values on other people, so I will let him figure it out on his own.

What is even worse is his family supports it. They tell him how much she loves him as if hes a fool for not marrying her simply because shes so committed to him. Hello she was committed on day 1! I think its crazy how people see girls like her as safe. He knows she’ll do anything for him so he keeps her around. I would never want to have that, or be that girl, ever.

This girl was in love with him from the moment she met him. She was the same way with the boyfriend before him, and before him and before him I am sure. If they broke up, shes the girl who would have a new boyfriend a week later. She moved in with him after like 3 months, told him she loved him after like a few months, and even talked about marriage after a few months. If that’s not the hugest red flag ever I don’t know what is. But he continues to date her thinking she actually loves “him”.  It is not normal to give so much so soon, it doesn’t allow the relationship to happen naturally.

Discussing marriage after 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 months to me…. is NUTS. It might seem nice and easy now, but in 10 years these are the people who end up with 3 kids and divorced, and THEN have to start completely over. Sure it might work for a few people but the majority of marriages like this will fail.

To me, when people voluntarily offer a one-sided commitment right away, it signals desperation. I see it as of some weird fear of losing a man if she doesn’t do everything possible for him. And most of the time the guy has made no commitment whatsoever. She’s ready to give up everything she has without even being asked, just to prove her love, hoping this will somehow bond him to her forever. It doesn’t. Eventually it will fall apart.

I don’t think I am old and wise, I just think there is more to life than the things most people want from dating. I would never give someone my everything unless it was a mutual agreement. Marriage to me means forever, and I wouldn’t  speak about marriage with someone I just met, and I definitely will never get married because it is what people expect you to do. I believe there is one person out there for everyone, if you’re not 100% sure that you are with that one person then maybe you should work on yourself while you’re waiting to find them. And I do think it is healthy and ok to casually date around as long as both people are on the same page. Not everything has to be deep and serious.

Everyone says it, but its true, you can’t love someone else entirely until you love yourself.

My two cents of the day.