Sooo when my high school friends come into town I always wanna hang, I miss my bros! My friend John was in town so we, orrrr correction I, decided to call a few people and arrange a plan to watch the fight. John normally lives in Las Vegas but was here working for Monster for the weekend so we all planned on going over to his parents house to watch it. Anyway, he discovers he doesn’t get cable lmaoakldsjaskldjasd out there so we change plans to watch it at Howie’s house.

I stroll up to Howie’s apartment in the heart of La Mesa sigh……………….. and hoped for the best. I can’t hate too bad on La Mesa since I am from there, however I have no desire to ever, ever live there again. So I walk in to Howie’s apartment and immediately almost pass out. It had to have been 99 degrees in there and as usual I am dressed like a grandma in a full on jacket and jeans. I become overwhelmed fast because I see a baby, a baby’s bottle next to a Corona, a fake gun on the table that looks so real I almost have a panic attack…then I continue into the kitchen where they reveal they are baking “special brownies” uh what? First of all ew, second of all, WHY is the oven on!? It’s soooo hot! His friends for sure thought I was an annoying, high maintenance white b*tch, oopsie.

Long story short, we watch the fight, sipped on some classy Smirnoff, thanks Howie… and then decided, since one guy was literally in basketball shorts, that we would hit up the classiest joint in town, Norma Jeans. I HATE this place, hate, hate, hate. I had been once before and left pissed. It’s a hot, stinky, small dive bar in which all of the staff is 50+ however the girls, or women, all dress like they are 21. Baby tees with big bellys out.

My mouth was wide open the entire time… Random people dancing, karaoke, cash only bar, just craziness all around. We hear an eminem song come on for karaoke and half way through we realize we have no idea who is singing it? Oh… I am sorry, it was the 55 year old frizzy, grey haired, female bartender, RAPPING, not even flinching to look at the words, knew every line as if she was Eminem and proceeded to rap her little heart out AS she took orders and poured drinks.

She even had a back up singer, this tiny old lady that resembled a troll singing her back up parts. “I’m back na na na na na na na na” she sang. Wow. We then look over to see a guy barefoot, topless, dripping sweat doing back flips on the dancefloor……. I decided I had absolutely enough of this dump and had to go.

Please look at this pic!!!! I don’t even know where to begin. The massive chair pile, the glittery music cut outs, the binders, Elvis, him? ahhh and omg when I googled this place to get another picture of the outside, look what came up on Yelp.com asldkjaskdjhd

“This is one of those places you pass by for years without ever thinking of going in. Outside is decorated with big ugly rocks. Inside ripped up leather-like booths. A well drink was $6.50. Really? Is this a joke. $6.50 for whiskey and coke? Why would I ever pay that much to sit in this dump? Only entertainment was the old toothless bartender singing an eminem song. NO thanks.”

Couldn’t have said it better, and no wonder she knew the Eminem lyrics, its apparently her specialty LOLALK;dlsa