Ahh, the good old fashioned “we should grab coffee” invitation. I swear, I get asked out on coffee dates several times a week and honestly, I’m not sure why? I would rather poke my own eyes out than sit in a cramped Starbucks, in the middle of the day, with some guy I barely know and probably don’t even want to know.
Guys, as women, we know what this approach means by now. It means “Hey! I think you’re cute and I kinda, maybe, might like you, so I am willing to pay $3.95 to find out.” I can’t help but wonder, are other girls seriously down for this approach? I guess there are a lot of easy-going girls out there, but for me, I’m going to have to decline for the following reasons.
1. It takes me two hours to look presentable, a thirty minute coffee date is simply not a smart investment. Besides, it costs more than a coffee for me to even get there?
2. It shows me what kind of guy you are, low commitment, cheap and way too casual. If you can’t even make the effort to ask me to lunch? I mean what’s the difference, twenty bucks and an extra forty-five minutes? We can be casual on date five, not date one. Guys that mass date prefer this approach because it’s more cost efficient and requires zero commitment, but guys with commitment issues, that serial date are my worst nightmare.
3. Starbucks was not made for dates, it was made for grabbing coffee at 6am, for bathroom breaks on road trips, for studying and for job interviews. I have no desire to sit on top of some seventeen year old studying for her college exam, as eight hundred other people stare at our awkward first cheap, embarrassing date.
4. I know that this means “I think you look good online, but I want to double check you out in person before I spend any money on you.” The girl you want is confident, attractive and has tons of self respect therefore, she will never agree to a cheap coffee date. She knows she can hold out for a real date and she will. The girls who do? Probably look nothing like their pics, so you should cancel anyway.
On a serious note, all sarcasm aside, I despise coffee dates because they are the epitome of what dating has become in 2013. Let’s rewind, back to the days where guys didn’t go on dates with every girl that liked their photos on Facebook, days where guys had an interest in one special girl that they actually wanted to impress.
I am not asking to be impressed, a guy should naturally want that with his potential new mate? What happened to dates being planned and special? If you are not excited about the girl and not willing to make a genuine effort, how can you really expect to find someone worth having? You get out what you put in fellas, so next time you meet a cool girl, please do not blow it with the “We should grab coffee” approach.