Always Choose the Heart

Boy am I a sucker for a good love story and if this isn’t a good one then I don’t know what is! I found this on the Positive Atmosphere Facebook page and liked it so much I wanted to share it. This story goes to show you never really know who or how or when, all you can do is stand firm in your faith knowing eventually what’s meant to be will be. Make sure you read it all, the end is the best 😉

“I met my wife in 1994 when she signed up for my martial art school, while she was still in high school, just a baby of 17. She excelled and became a national champion Sambo fighter within a year. We had obvious chemistry between us, but as a policy I never have had relationships with students because the relationship would be unfair, as I was “coach” and they were “athlete.” Relationships however are equal listen-and-share parallels.

Two years after meeting her, she walked into my office the week she was leaving for college on the other side of the country. Slamming her fist on my desk she asked, “So that’s IT? You have nothing to say to me?” I couldn’t say anything about my feelings because it would be dishonorable to pursue it as her coach. She turned and stormed out of the school.

She didn’t speak to me for six years: angry and hurt at my withholding of my feelings toward her. I regretted my decision month after month, but departing for Russia, I became consumed with my studies there, as she was similarly immersed in her university program.

Ages later, one Christmas evening mass, I saw her walking through the pews. She floated by me, not recognizing my long hair and beard, recently returned from the cold, Russian winter. Instantly standing, I dashed after her, but she was nowhere to be found. In the days that followed, I tried to find her, but her rightfully-protective mother refused to disclose her phone number or email address. I finally convinced her to at least convey mine to her daughter.

An email appeared in my inbox, succinctly asking what I wanted. So, I explained that I had hoped to buy her a ticket to fly back to my side of the country for the weekend to go out on a date with me. She didn’t answer for a week, and then reluctantly agreed. I sent her the ticket, but received in the mail a check from her parents for the pricetag of the flight and in the note field of the check: “…so our daughter does not feel obligated.”

Our date felt awkward and fumbling, confusing and uncomfortable, and totally confirmed my suspicion that I had been in love with her for the many years since I met her. She advised me that I had hurt her greatly, that her life was finally now where she wanted it, and that she didn’t need any major upheaval again.

“I’m not known for traveling in calm waters,” I laughed. She didn’t think I was funny. Flying back home, I didn’t know if she ever wanted to see me again. But she had given me a letter and made me promise to not open it until she departed. As the tires lifted off the tarmac, I opened it. She told me everything, from the beginning of our story together… And disclosed her true feelings. She loved me as well, but feared my tendency to abruptly change when I felt so inclined. She did not want to be hurt again.

The next week, I packed my car, closed all of my accounts, and found an apartment on her side of the country. (Perhaps validating her concern about my abruptness!) In two and a half days of crazy 15 hour sprints, I arrived on the West Coast. Rather than drive to my new apartment, I drove straight to her at work. Shocked, I could see her concerns: of course if I could do something so rash as to move across the country to date her, couldn’t I then make a reckless decision and abruptly end our blossoming relationship?

Although it appears from the radical nature of my life’s choices that I make decisions in haste, my mother taught me:

1. When you believe in something, you must be willing to sacrifice everything to pursue it.
2. If it doesn’t work out, trying to force it will only bring you great suffering and failure.
3. Knowing the difference between 1 and 2 is the hardest thing in life.

break up quotes
“I always wondered why birds stay in the same place when they could choose to fly anywhere on the Earth, but then I ask myself the same question,” wrote an unknown author. The hardships of my early life opened the cage to travel anywhere passion compelled me. Fortunately, those childhood challenges drove me directly into the arms of my best friend and love of my life.

Building trust in a relationship takes time, especially when you’re facing the chaotic events of adolescence and in the unsteady beginning of your career. We both believed in our relationship, and were passionate enough to commit to a life together.

Very difficult trials would lie ahead for us individually and as a couple, but like a gemstone is not polished without rubbing, a relationship is not grown without commitment to the other’s individual growth and fulfillment… especially when you could, rather, focus all your efforts to shining the gems in your own life.. alone. But for me, a life without her, lacked luster, no matter the efforts I made to polish. So, I left the cage of my prior security, and adventured out to find her, earn her trust, and spend the last of my days together loving her.

Birds don’t choose to stay in one place because they’re afraid to fly away. They stay, because they’re home. Wherever my beautiful bride, and the exuberant little cherubs we’ve created together, live… There, I am home.

Often, the most difficult choices are between the sane arguments of your mind and and the crazed intuitions of your heart. As a man of reason, formally schooled in logic and rationality, I’ve come to learn… No matter how much it hurts, choose the heart. Your mind will create every convincing excuse for you to not follow your heart, but sometimes, only those crazed foolish dreams are sane.”

Very Respectfully,
Scott Sonnon
www.facebook.com/ScottSonnon
www.positiveatmosphere.com

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