I was watching Sex & The City the other night before bed, what better way to get my blogging blood a-flowin than a good SATC episode. The episode on was titled “They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?” All the girls found themselves single at the same time and realized how much they hated it. One by one they began settling for random boyfriends they didn’t really even like. Charlotte began dating her handyman, Miranda a boring ex she was never really into, and Samantha some nasty Latin club owner guy who called them “we” which caused her to like him simply because he was ready to commit. They all decided they were happier with someone versus no one. Carrie couldn’t relate to this concept at all, which confirms I definitely am a “Carrie” when it comes to that show.
It made me think… there are sooo many people who haveeeeeee to be in a relationship to survive, why can’t people seem to exist alone? It seems that after every break up there is always one of the two, who is off and dating someone else in what seems to be over night. It’s so weird to me, not to mention disgusting… sharing your bed with someone else so quick? I understand if you want to date around, but after being in love with someone how can people move on so fast? I guess it goes back to that whole “disposable” concept. People now a days are so fearful of being alone that they treat each other as if they’re disposable. Like Jay Z says, on to tha next…
I suppose it’s just a way insecure, weak people cope with their loss, or maybe they never really cared about the relationship they were in to begin with? I know when I love someone, my heart needs time to slow down, catch it’s breath, and sew up any cracks before I am really ready to move on. I guess I am just loyal to love, even lost love. I’m also fine being alone, and realize you can’t fill one void with another void, eventually all the voids will catch up to you, just like a trash pile up. It’s not fun taking out the trash/being alone when you’re sad, but it’s one of those things that for me, isn’t optional.
It feels good knowing I’m strong enough to exist alone. I suppose dating someone new is a nice distraction after a break up, but it sure seems like a quick, temporary fix. As soon as things slow down and the distraction subsides, reality will be back tapping on your shoulder to remind you of the things you ran from. The only sure fire way through the storm is directly through it.
I had one boyfriend in college, and after we broke up he tried to date around and realized he wasn’t ready. He eventually got himself a girlfriend, the only problem was this girl had just gotten out of a serious relationship too. I swear in just one month this girl was telling him she loved him, was talking about marriage and found a reason to move into his house. Just forgot about the guy you wanted to marry a month ago already?
Him & I of course remained close friends so I explained to him that it wasn’t him she loved, she just loved the idea of love and his attention after her recent break up. She’d love any guy. He agreed. Funny thing is they’re still together, unhappily of course, and he still texts me asking me sappy questions about our past. I don’t get that either, why stay if your heart isn’t in it? He says he loves her, but it’s a very different kind of love we knew. You can’t lie to your heart no matter how hard you try.
I think life is better with company for sure, I just don’t agree with any company being better than no company. So, to all my independent people out there, who can exist alone when needed, more power to ya. And for all the people out there who need someone by your side to feel safe, just remember you can’t always rely on other people to fill the voids inside of you, at the end of the day all we have for sure is ourselves, it’s ok to be single and happy. If you find yourself trying to fill a void inside of you with someone else, maybe stop and think about what life really wants you to find? Maybe focus more on yourself, your health, your fitness, your career, your friends, your family, your hobbies etc… just my two cents 😉
“It would do the world good if every man would compel himself occasionally to be absolutely alone. Most of the world’s progress has come out of such loneliness.”