I’m not gonna lie, I have had my fair share of loser boyfriends, but what I don’t understand is how some girls never seem to outgrow this phase? Sure it’s hard to walk away (Been there, done that ten times trust me…) but once you do let go, you’re one step closer to being happy and finding exactly what you deserve. I know soooo many cute girls and how come so many of them have fool boyfriends? I am finally to the point where unless I am with someone equally invested in my happiness, I am 100% not interested. I am getting too old, and have too much self respect to sit and nag at some fool to give me what I know I deserve, how come not every girl feels this way? Before we go any further, yes this applies to guys as well, dating lame girls that is, I however am writing it from my view. Please save the girls are a mess too comments, trust me I know.

I think a lot of girls think they need a boyfriend, but realistically um… you don’t. What is even crazier is these guys the girls think they need, do nothing nice for them. I’m convinced most girls are totally in love with the idea of love and not the actual guy. I also think it has a lot to do with a loss of control. When guys back off and stop caring about the relationship, girls enter panic mode and try harder. No. Stop. Girls, most of the time when you pick up your lame-0 guy’s slack, he just ends up caring less. He sees how desperate you are to make it work and will abuse his control over you. Best thing to do? Back off. Your guy should want to be with you and want to put in equal work.

If your guy isn’t treating you the way you want and need, stop forcing it. Let him come to you and prove he wants you in his life just as much as you want him in yours. Soooo many girls want a relationship far more than the guy does or ever will, why not find someone who wants the same thing you do? Aren’t you sick of being sad? Aren’t you sick of asking him to be a good boyfriend?

Craziest part is, so many of these guys are no where nearrrr being ready for what most girls are ready for. If your boyfriend is 25 and still a mess, be ready for another 10 years of it, because now a days most men don’t mature until they’re 30+. If ever. Sure there are exceptions to every rule but from experience most men I meet or know of aren’t ready to be with someone seriously until they’re 30+. I’m 26, most girls my age are slowly, but surely winding down. Ready to calm down, stay home, be a girlfriend, however their boyfriends, around the same age, are thinking of anything but. If your guy rather party than be at home with you, if he rather hang with his friends everyday over you, let em go. Find someone who is done being wild, who is ready to be in a real relationship and who sacrifices things on his own to be with you.

Just think about these few things when evaluating your boyfriend: You should answer YES to 7-8 outta the 10. If not you’re holding onto something you probably should just let go of.

1. Does your boyfriend make you happy? I mean really happy or are you simply holding onto hope that maybe one day he will? You’ve probably been together for a bit now, if he isn’t doing things weekly to make you happy, he probably won’t start anytime soon, especially if you’re the one asking him to do it. Unfortunately most guys have to lose you to realize what they had. “Immature men learn through pain, not through words.” -Dr. Phil… Date someone mature who will work on his own for the relationship and who doesn’t have to lose you to appreciate you.

2. Does he plan nice things for you? Date nights, cooked meals, trips? They don’t have to be huge things but small reminders that he cares and enjoys spending alone time with you.

3. Does he take time to compliment you? Could be anything from your shirt to your hair. Compliments mean he notices you and wants to make you smile.

4. Does he balance his priorities and ensure you’re at the top of his list? On his own? Guys love their alone time. Let them have it. But if he’s not interested in seeing you equally as the other things he’s doing, no thanks. Good boyfriends will balance work, friends, and you.

5. Does he make you the best version of you, you can be? Is he always on your team? Always helping you out? Down to talk about your bad day? Motivates you to push yourself to the limit?

6. Does he support you unconditionally?

7. Does he communicate with you? The KEY to relationships is communication. So many problems exist because someone is afraid to bring up what is bothering them. Real men communicate and know that a quick talk can accomplish anything. Something bothering you? Your guy should listen 100% and respond. Make sure the communication ends with a solution though. No point communicating with no intentions of solving the problem.

8. Is he honest with you? Trustworthy? No trust= NO RELATIONSHIP. None. You two should be able to swap phones at anytime. Do I want to read every email in my boyfriends phone? No, that is where trust kicks in, but a good boyfriend should behave as if we are reading every email they send. Flirty texts and emails are not ok. If I can keep all my doors closed he can too. Basic respect.

9. Does he own up to you? Does he post your pics? Do people know he has a girlfriend? If your man is hiding you, there’s a probably a reason for it. Whether he’s unsure of you or the relationship, or he just wants to keep his options open… whatever bla bla reason he has is lame and all it comes down to is he doesn’t want the world knowing he’s off the market. Nexxxxt.

10. Is he open to change? Something bothering you? Men that refuse change are pointless because all relationships need give and take. If someone is adamant about being independent or holding their ground on their way, move on. My way or the highway people don’t belong in relationships.

Deep breath, deeeep breath…… long list of questions but I believe if your man has most of the above as yes’ he’s a keeper. I think having 1-10 would classify as a perfect relationship, which is of course unreasonable, so lets shoot for at least 7-8 out of 10 of the above, there is always room for improvement. If you find yourself answering NO to every question, what are you doinnngggg? I mean seriously.

We’re getting too old to be dating unruly, commitment phobia men. Most my girlfriends who do date these idiots are beautiful, fun, funny, smart and loyal so why settle? Somewhere out there, someone else wants exactly what you want as well. Ditch the fool and find someone on the same page as you. Or god forbid you exist on your own while you wait for Mr. Right. Focus on yourself, your career, your happiness, your fitness, your family, your friends, your hobbies… Soooo much to do other than cry everyday over someone who isn’t crying over you. You shouldn’t be crying period. Ever!

I read a good quote that really made me ponder relationships…

“I love the idea of “the one” but I actually believe that there isn’t a Mr. Right. There are 12,000 Mr. Rights out there but it all comes down to timing.”

I agree 100% with this quote. I think it’s all about being in the right place at the right time. Two willing people ready to create something together. Sure there are a million other things involved… attraction, personality, style, hobbies, morals, values etc etc, but I think two willing people, with basic shared interests, really can create a lasting relationship together when the timing is right. Timing is everything. So with that said, if you have an unruly man who simply isn’t on the same page as you, and you’re sick of nagging at him to be ready for something he is yearssss away from reaching… either sit down, shutttt up and deal with it or move on alone or with someone who is ready and willing to be yours.

My boy bashing rant of the day

Share me!

•