So I just spray tanned my friend and she was telling me all about this date she went on with this fool she met out at Shore Club. (1st problem)… he picked her up for their date and actually came inside before to use her bathroom (2nd problem)… he tells her he’s going to surprise her and take her to dinner. She finally begs him to tell her where they are going and he says “Turquoise Bar, I hear its a nice date spot”. Yeah it is she replied. He asked her, “Oh so you’ve been here before?” Wellll uhhh yeah I’ve lived in PB for 5 years and I have been on dates before so yeah… He tells her he’s unemployed (3rd problem) and that he won’t settle for just “any ol’ job” Aka can’t find one. Hello… it’s San Diego, you’re lucky to get hired at the mall these days. Anyway they have an ok date, she had one glass of wine and was pretty over him UNTIL the waitress came to ask if they wanted another round, his reply? “No, just the check”. Whattttt? In her head she was thinking… um I don’t like you, now you don’t like me? She didn’t understand how he couldn’t like her but here’s the twist. He really was just SUPER eager to get her back to his house! So hes driving her home, (so she thinks) until she notices his car is not heading towards her house at all. She says…uh were taking me home right? He says shhh just listen to the music.(4th problem who kidnaps someone?) “Nooooo I have work tomorrow I gotta go home!” He replies with “I have a nice bottle of red wine at home and HBO ON DEMANDDDDDD!” asdjlaksdjasdkljdsa omg seriously?(5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th problem) So do I, so does everyone.

What is up with guys, their wine, their jacuzzis, their couches? No I dont wanna come over and drink red wine with you, I rather go home and find you on facebook and laugh with my roommates. No I dont wanna come over and go in your jacuzzi or see your place. No I dont wanna spend the night. What stupid girl does? Then after my friend declines, he says, ok well… you seem like a respectable girl. Ya think? I love when guys ask me these questions because they are instantly erased from my memory for life.

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