Being 25 and single has its ups and downs. I get stressed out when I see other people getting married, having boyfriends etc… but then I realize right now, that is just not what life has in store for me. I have the option to settle constantly but settling is something I don’t understand and never have. There are so many people in this world to date, but if I don’t have a unique connection with someone, I won’t bother. I don’t see any point dating someone because I am lonely or bored or because it seems like what I should be doing. It’s easy to get wrapped up in a relationship and its easy to convince yourself that easy equals a reason to be with someone, but I will never be in an easy, convenient relationship. You walk away gaining nothing. I don’t want a dramatic relationship, but I understand it takes years and years of non stop work: growing, changing, learning together to build a real relationship.

Click more to hear me rant more about settlers.

I want someone who completes me. A best friend. Someone I can do anything and everything with. Someone I want to be around, someone who makes me the best I can be. I realize the majority of people don’t think like this. Most people don’t dig too deep when it comes to dating. They date the easy girl… she’s cute enough, nice enough, no drama, looks good on paper, so why not. When a guy likes me too soon, it’s gross to me. It shows me he’s desperate for a girlfriend, when instead he should be trying to get to know me.

One of my best friends is dating this girl that is a total joke. I am sick of telling him what a joke she is because he refuses to see it. I realize I can’t force my values on other people, so I will let him figure it out on his own.

What is even worse is his family supports it. They tell him how much she loves him as if hes a fool for not marrying her simply because shes so committed to him. Hello she was committed on day 1! I think its crazy how people see girls like her as safe. He knows she’ll do anything for him so he keeps her around. I would never want to have that, or be that girl, ever.

This girl was in love with him from the moment she met him. She was the same way with the boyfriend before him, and before him and before him I am sure. If they broke up, shes the girl who would have a new boyfriend a week later. She moved in with him after like 3 months, told him she loved him after like a few months, and even talked about marriage after a few months. If that’s not the hugest red flag ever I don’t know what is. But he continues to date her thinking she actually loves “him”.  It is not normal to give so much so soon, it doesn’t allow the relationship to happen naturally.

Discussing marriage after 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 months to me…. is NUTS. It might seem nice and easy now, but in 10 years these are the people who end up with 3 kids and divorced, and THEN have to start completely over. Sure it might work for a few people but the majority of marriages like this will fail.

To me, when people voluntarily offer a one-sided commitment right away, it signals desperation. I see it as of some weird fear of losing a man if she doesn’t do everything possible for him. And most of the time the guy has made no commitment whatsoever. She’s ready to give up everything she has without even being asked, just to prove her love, hoping this will somehow bond him to her forever. It doesn’t. Eventually it will fall apart.

I don’t think I am old and wise, I just think there is more to life than the things most people want from dating. I would never give someone my everything unless it was a mutual agreement. Marriage to me means forever, and I wouldn’t  speak about marriage with someone I just met, and I definitely will never get married because it is what people expect you to do. I believe there is one person out there for everyone, if you’re not 100% sure that you are with that one person then maybe you should work on yourself while you’re waiting to find them. And I do think it is healthy and ok to casually date around as long as both people are on the same page. Not everything has to be deep and serious.

Everyone says it, but its true, you can’t love someone else entirely until you love yourself.

My two cents of the day.

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