When I think about my dating life I feel like I don’t date anyone, but I realized I date tons of guys, just none worth remembering. Every guy I meet is so weird in one way or another. I love telling my dating horror stories, but I don’t want to offend anyone so I wait a little while and of course change up the names and stuff.

So Kyle is the  brother of one of my friends Cammie. I met Kyle out one night I was with Cammie and she told me I had to date her brother because his current gf was a total loser. I was like helloooo I am not gonna steal your brother away from his gf but if they break up let me know.

Nothing came of it but maybe a month later I get a text from Kyle saying he broke up with his gf and wanted to hangout. I gave him a hard time of course, accusing him of probably still being with her, but he assured me he was single. (I later found out he was single for like our date only) Love how that works.

Click to read more of this “pull my hair out” story

Anyways we hang out, he’s cute, but kind of a lame personality, he calls me “bro” and “lame” the whole time attempting to be funny, but it’s not. Anyway, he owns his own club and spent half the date telling me all about the hot chicks at his work that he’s hooked up with… Oh cool. You’re telling me this whhhy?

Anyway, nothing came of that, we worked out at the gym a few times and then I finally became over it. I knew he was probably still with his gf, and even tho we were just friends, it was still shady to me.

I would say 6 months passed until he was calling me again. We end up meeting up at Seau’s to grab dinner. He tells me hes still with his gf…. I am confused as to what is going on with this guy. What a mess! If my boyfriend was at dinner with some other girl…….. ohhhh man.

He realizes him and I will never leave the friend zone I guess, so he begins telling me that he needs to break up with his gf bc he’s cheated on her over 10 times in 2 months. GROSS. I was like what are you thinking? He says there are just too many hot chicks to be faithful to her. Ok, isn’t that what being single is for?

He then begins to tell me about the hot Latina, bisexual bartender at his work. Her gf stopped in to visit her and began hitting on Kyle. She told him that he probably had a little you know what, and for some reason he felt the need to tell her if she wanted proof that it wasn’t little that he’d be in his office to show her. You can only imagine what my face looked like at this point…

Is this guy serious?

So he continues the story… and tells me that he is in his office doing paperwork and 2 seconds later this lesbian storms through the door and drops her pants. um WHAT????? He then tells me they proceed to you know what, all while his gf is home waiting for him to get off work. How sick is that!? In my head I was thinking, how can I get outta here without being a total brat? I didn’t even care, I actually just paid the entire bill and left bc I wanted nothing from him.

I lectured him before I left telling him that a. he has a problem because that’s not normal and b. you can’t treat people like that. His gf doesn’t deserve that. If he can’t be faithful to her then be a man and end it.

Funny part about this guy is after that story, and after I told him how gross he was, he texted me to stop playing hard to get! HAHhadkjasjkasdkjsadsadh I was like this is NOT an act buddy, I would nnnnever bother with you. I think he texted me a few more times, (inappropriate texts late at night of course) and finally got the hint when I no longer replied.

Point of the story:

1. Don’t have a gf if you plan on being a h*e. It always comes back around and one day you will get it back!

2. Don’t tell a new girl you’re trying to lure in, about what a total gross creep you are

…and last but not least guys, please…

3. Stop with the lame late night texts, there are some girls that might be ok with them, but I clearly am not. And no, it is not just an act.

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